Child Protection
Part II
How to Help Prevent Abduction

This is the second article in a four-part series on protecting children from predators. Part I focused on abuse awareness and reporting. Part III will cover Internet safety and Part IV will look at how the Corvallis Police Department responds to a missing child report and the resources it has to resolve such an event

Approximately fifteen children that were safe when you started to read this article will be missing by the time you finish. Alarming to say the least. Fortunately, however, only a minority of missing child reports is the result of abduction. Most of the time little Sammy just wanders away and is found by police or a neighbor.

The thought of your child being abducted is probably the most frightening horror story that you can imagine. So this article reviews some steps that you can take to reduce the chances of your child being abducted. It also includes some steps that you can take to help police and speed recovery should it occur.

As you read further please keep in mind that a person the child knows perpetrates almost half of all abductions. Someone such as a family member, family friend, or other person trusted by the family is responsible for 47% of these crimes.

Perhaps the most important step in preventing abduction is to take high quality family time to talk with your children about their safety. Play-act and rehearse safety and abduction-escape measures. Make it known to each child individually, from the time he/she is able to understand, that his/her safety is a family priority.

Remember that children learn best when things are repeated. So by having regular family meetings that include discussions of child safety, they will learn how to stay safe and they will know that, indeed, their safety is a priority for your whole family.

Teach your children to be alert and to be aware when they are outside -- a big difference from teaching them to be fearful. Teach them to walk with purpose in their stride and with their heads up, eyes scanning their surroundings.

Teach them to avoid distractions that divert their attention to such a degree they become oblivious to danger. For example, talking on a cell phone and listening to portable music are two of the worst things they can do in this regard. Teach them to walk -- or run -- away from danger if it approaches.

And teach them to scream and fight -- to hit and kick and gouge and bite and squirm with every fiber of their being if they are grabbed.

During your family meetings establish age-appropriate family rules for activity and time limits so that your children know exactly what is expected of them. Most things in life are negotiable but child safety rules for your family are not. The rules you set, the reasons for them, and the consequences of not following them need to be discussed and made understandable.

But remember that dictating to children commonly results in rebellion and that failure to enforce rules or to exercise consequences usually results in noncompliance.

While every family needs to develop its own rules and enforcement policies for child safety, the following list provides a guide to some child protection topics that have proven effective. This list is not exhaustive. It includes body boundaries, interactions with strangers, activity places and times, and Internet/phone habits. And a closely related topic well worth discussing as a family is avoiding succumbing to peer pressure.

Body Boundries
Teach your child the correct names for body parts and which are and are not appropriate for others to touch or for them to touch on others. Teach them that absolutely nobody should ever touch or ask to see their genitals, buttocks, or breasts -- or even come close -- unless you give permission such as during a doctor visit. Teach them to yell as loud as possible, "No! Stop! Don't touch me!" and to tell you or their teacher immediately what happened and who the person was.

Interactions with Strangers
Strict adherence to a "never talk to strangers" rule has not proven effective in reducing the chances of an abduction occurring. The concept of who is a stranger is very different for a child than for adults. By merely hearing a friendly, "Hi there. My name is Bob." a child may no longer consider that person to be a stranger. Teach your child what stranger means.

Teach your child to maintain enough distance from a person to disallow touch or grabbing. Teach them to avoid a person who wants to show them a puppy or give them candy and that they need to tell you about the incident right away. Practice making person descriptions with your child during family meetings or when you are out in public. For example, you can make a game out of trying to remember what a person looked like who passed you and your child on the sidewalk.

Adopt a practice commonly used by police families to prevent their children from going along willingly with a person of ill intent. It is easy to do. Just establish a family password and teach your child to ask the person for the password. And teach your child that if the person does not know the password, no matter what, he/she is not to go anywhere with that person. This practice can help especially in abductions attempted by a person the child knows such as a relative or a family friend.

Teach your children not to approach to hear the password. Keep their distance and let the person say it loud enough for them to hear but remain safe. Once you provide the password to someone for an emergency, change it immediately afterwards.

Activity Times and Places
Establish age-appropriate boundaries for where your children can play, e.g., backyard, school playground, or neighborhood park. Set conditions under which they can walk or ride their bikes to get there, e.g., be accompanied by at least two friends. And set the time to be home. Enforce time limits and curfews. Teach your children to call if they are going to be late or if plans change for where they are going to be.

Internet/Phone Habits
People who perpetrate crimes against children commonly are very patient and will spend months, sometimes even years, building files on potential victims by gathering seemingly innocent and random tidbits here and a snippet there until they have the all information they need.

The first step in protecting against online predators is becoming smart parents. Learn how computers and the Internet work. And learn what clues to look for that indicate your child may be in danger.

Teach your children to not give to anyone on the phone or the Internet any personal or other kind information that would allow someone to identify, find, or follow them. This includes name, street address, city of residence, e-mail address, phone number, age, gender, school, school mascot, name of teacher, name of mom & dad, brothers and sisters. And teach them to never tell anyone that they are home alone or without an adult.

Children commonly believe what they read in a book and this carries to what they see on the Internet and TV. Teach them that not everything they read is true. And make sure that they know they do not have to fill in all the blanks on a form just because they are asked to provide the information. This holds whether the form is on the Internet or elsewhere.

Conduct a periodic search of your child's name on Google. If your child owns titled property such as real estate, or if your child is an honor student, participates in school activities, is an athlete, or otherwise can be expected to be named in the local newspaper, you should expect to see your child's name come up in a Google search. However, if your child's name appears in an unexpected context, you should check the reason for, and the source of, the citation.

Because the next article in this series will focus on Internet safety, it will go into greater detail on this subject and will also include information on how parents can become informed about monitoring a child's Internet activity.

Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is a powerful force that can direct children into dangerous activities or situations. Children with self confidence and self esteem are less likely to succumb than are those without.

Parents who support their children by recognizing their achievements and by working through problems with them -- not solving the problem for them but, rather, guiding them to the solution -- give their children reason to feel confidence and esteem. And so it is that families that build unity by taking time to demonstrate love and to talk about child safety and other issues of importance to the children, including peer pressure, will be taking a big step toward developing confident and self-respecting children.

Teach your child to trust their instincts. If their peers want to do something and it feels wrong or dangerous to your child, it probably is.

Child ID Kits
One of the best ways that parents can help police recover their child in the event of an abduction is to keep on hand a completed child ID kit with recent photos. Photographs are vital to police in finding your child. Remember that younger children's features change more quickly than do those of older children so replace photographs every few months for youngsters and every six months as they get older.

Child ID kits, with fingerprinting, are available free of charge from the Corvallis Police Department. You can stop by the front desk of the Law Enforcement Center at 180 NW 5th St. and ask for one per child. Or you can call 766-6863 or send an e-mail to neighborhoodwatch@ci.corvallis.or.us. Please leave your name, your mailing address, and the number of children in your family so that the kits can be mailed to you.

The Corvallis Police Department also maintains a supply of brochures on child safety and child abuse. These are free of charge as well and you can find them on display in the Law Enforcement Center lobby or request that copies be mailed to you.

A great resource for child safety is www.powerofparentsonline.com/.

Friends of Corvallis Police thanks Corvallis Police Lt. Jon Keefer for his dedication to child protection and his inspiration for this series of articles.